Just call me graceful

I have issues with little things like hand/eye coordination and walking without tripping.  Sometimes my mouth runs a little waaaaaay faster than my mind.  Yesterday was one of those days.  You see, there is this restaurant that we love.  In fact, it is really the only restaurant I like here, so it plays a big role in my eating life.  We call it Helens.  I don’t know what the actual name is, but the girl we met there when we first started going was Helen, so everyone we know refers to it as Helens.  Well, Helens had the audacity to go on vacation and shut down for 3 weeks, leaving me with lunch options that I wasn’t crazy about.  So imagine my total excitement when we went to lunch yesterday and the doors were open!!  I immediately picked up my phone to call my friend, who also loves Helens, to try to convince her she needed to come have lunch with us.  Here is where it gets interesting.

I have two friends with the same name.

I forgot that little detail and chose the first one I came to.  When I heard,


I immediately started talking/yelling,

Helens is open!!  It’s open!!  You have to come!!

She said, in a very confused voice,

Are you sure you have the right Josie?

Uh-oh.  Instead of realizing my mistake here, I continued.

 Helens.  It’s open!

Then my mind caught up.  Ohhhhh.  I quickly said,

I’m sorry

and hung up.  embarrassed.

Cam witnessed this happening, and said,

ummm…isn’t that the mom of the little boy in Ellie’s class?

Why yes, Yes it was.    And I really liked this lady.  I then took the easy way out and texted her about what a dork I am, but she wasn’t too offended because she replied with,

so can our fams hang out soon?  Helens must be good.  You sounded stoked.

Disaster averted.  However, the days embarrassing moments for me didn’t end there.

Later that afternoon, Gracie came in from the balcony asking me to kill a caterpillar.  Ummm…okay?  She said it flung red antennae at Meili when she tried to bite it.  I mean, seriously, wouldn’t  you fling something out at a huge furry creature trying to eat you?  But Gracie was worried the caterpillar was poisonous and would kill the dog.  After the past few nights I’ve had with the dog, I’m not sure this was a bad thing…but I went out to inspect the little green thing anyway.  Image

I wasn’t actually willing to touch this with my bare hands because creepy crawly things make me shiver, but I could sweep it into my little dustpan and toss it over the rail.  In theory.  Sadly, when I went to toss it over, it landed on the outside of the glass still in my balcony.  So, my brilliant plan was to use the broom to sweep it off.  It was a pretty good idea…or it would have been had I been able to implement it.  As I was leaning over the glass, dangling the short broom, the thought of dropping the broom flitted across my thoughts, but I dismissed it knowing I wouldn’t drop the broom.  Riiiightttt.  You can laugh.  I totally threw the broom off my 7th floor home (not the first time something accidentally flew from my hands over the balcony).  And guess what?  I MISSED THE CATERPILLAR!!

Graceful, I tell you.


3 thoughts on “Just call me graceful

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