Yesterday, Father proved His faithfulness once again and taught me a lesson in the midst of it! Cam and I have been taking advantage of the non-polluted air and beautiful scenery by jogging in the mornings and following that with a swim. We have about 20 months of laziness to make up for. I have honestly never sweat so much in my life! This humidity is something else.
When I got to the pool, there was a woman there. My first thought was that it was inconvenient. I didn’t want to share this gigantic pool with anyone else (selfish heart sin coming out). So, I started in on my laps, ignoring her. After I had swam for awhile (and was sufficiently exhausted), I started to have a conversation in my head. You see, it takes a lot of courage to start a conversation in another language.
Will she understand me?
How do I start?
Will I understand her?
What if I say the words wrong?
So, I took a deep breath of bravery and on the exhale asked her if she came swimming often.
She smiled at me.
A smile speaks so loudly to a frightened heart. My racing heart immediately calmed and we began a conversation. She is married with two kids. She stays home with them. She lives right outside our complex and was there waiting for her teacher to come give her swim lessons.
He Chinese was so clear…without all the local dialect messing up her pronunciation. I could understand her, and for the most part, she could understand me as well. It was such a relief. Such an answer to pleas I have been uttering. With the limitations on my time due to homeschooling and simply living, I have asked for a friend who lives conveniently close. I asked for someone whom I could understand. I asked for someone who understood me (what I really mean is for someone who will take the time to figure out what I am trying to actually say…talking to someone who is just learning the language is VERY difficult for the listener. They have to make a lot of inferences, and it has to be exhausting!). I asked for someone friendly.
He is faithful.
The lesson in the midst of this that struck me so hard was this:
Had I not stepped out in obedience, in spite of my insecurities, I wouldn’t have allowed Him to prove His faithfulness.
It took me making up my mind to start a conversation. He had equipped me well, yet I was still hesitant. He knew He had a blessing waiting in the wings for me, but He was giving me a choice to accept it or reject it. If I had chosen to get out of the pool and head home, without ever greeting this woman, I would not have received the answer to so many pleas I have asked. I would have continued on in ignorance, wondering why He hadn’t given me the friend my heart so desires.
I have a date with this new friend on Monday morning at 8am at the pool. Please ask that she not forget the time, that the Enemy will be far away, and that His light will shine forth from every word I utter. And baring my sin nature once again, ask that my attitude be like His. Monday is the day we start school in our home. I am nervous and terrified of this beginning and having a date the hour before we are “scheduled” to begin causes a bit of anxiety in my heart. He has proven His faithfulness and will continue, but my flesh sure gets nervous!