All prayer is to change the human will into submission to the divine will “as thou wilt.”. . . Practically then, I say, Pray as He did, until prayer makes you cease praying. Pray until prayer makes you forget your own wish, and leave it or merge it in God’s will. The divine wisdom has given us prayer, not as a means whereby we escape evil, but as a means whereby we become strong to meet it. “There appeared an angel unto Him from heaven, strengthening Him” [Luke 22:43]. That was the true reply to His prayer.’
Frederick W. Robertson
There are times in my life when I wonder if praying really matters. If it can change anything. If it really makes a difference. Last week I read this quote and my prayer world was rocked. I had always prayed with the mindset of asking Father to change things. To make the bumps in my life fit a little easier and feel a little smoother.
I have held onto to the doubt for fifteen years that when I really needed Him, when I prayed the prayer that if given the right answer would make my world right again, He failed me. He didn’t want to give me what I really wanted, what would have made my life better and whole. I have struggled so many times with my prayer life because of these doubts, never pausing to truly realize that while I was praying for a miracle, He was working one in my heart. It was a different miracle, but it was one that passed all understanding. I remember someone asking me one time how I was doing it. How are you still smiling when your baby is in a casket in the next room? I remember telling her that He gives us what we need when we need it, and He was giving me abundant peace. That was His answer to my heart’s plea. While I was asking Him to breathe life back into Chloe, He was breathing life into me. He was filling me with His Holy Spirit power and making my heart beat in tune with His. He was giving me strength and making my wish become the same as His.
I didn’t clearly recognize any of this until last week, but now I can see His hand, His love, His faithfulness, and his oh so powerful strength carrying me through every moment. I am quick to fall prey to the enemy stealing my peace even now, fifteen years later, and have to constantly capture every thought and doubt and make it obedient to Christ, but this has changed me. As I have prayed this week for myself, my family, my friends, I have prayed from a different angle. It has made such a difference in my heart to know and feel that when I pray, I am inviting His strength to make whatever comes okay. He has my world under control, and all I have to do is sit back and be obedient to whatever He tells me to do. He is going to work all the details out perfectly and if I will just allow Him, He will turn all my wishes into the same wishes He has already designed for me.